5 Ways To Socialize When Alone At An Event
I enjoy my alone time where I can practice music, writing, reading, art and other creative things in peaceful solitude. But If I stay in that space for too long, I go stir crazy… This is where I usually reach my limit and need to get out into the world and use these awesome 5 ways to socialize when alone at an event, especially parties.
I think of myself as an introverted extrovert – an ambivert. I enjoy putting myself in uncomfortable situations where I can practice my social skills, like big parties where I don’t know a soul except for the person that invited me.
Sounds scary? I like to think it builds character.
I’m also trying to quit drinking, which makes those partying and event socializing situations even more unnerving, yet great for personal growth nonetheless. Each time I go to one of these events, I pick up new skills that help me become more comfortable with random people. This then gives me the opportunity to make new connections.
Here are 5 of the most significant skills that have positively impacted my socialization at parties:
1. Find the Games Table
When I first moved to Vancouver to go to college I was trying to expand my social circle, so I attended random friend-of-a-friend parties on the weekends to meet people.
One of the first things I would do at these parties was find the games table. Often this would be Beer Pong, Flip Cup, Cards Against Humanity, or the infamous Kings Cup (I don’t know how I always got lucky and drew the Kings Cup card, and had to slam a nasty mix of beer/tequila/smirnoff ice deliciousness). That isn’t required by the way, you’re allowed to say no to the King’s Cup.
Getting into a game at a party is an instant icebreaker.
You have a clear role in the situation, you’re engaged with the people around you, there’s some healthy competition going on, and there’s always laughter involved. It’s a great way to get in with the crowd, and who cares if you suck, it’s all just for fun and most people are too tipsy to notice anyways.
2. Find the Other Lone Ranger at the event
There’s always at least one other person at a party who doesn’t know anybody and who might also have some anxiety about meeting others. This is the best person to start a conversation with and it will allow you to also check off at least one tip from your ‘5 ways to socialize‘ tips. You can usually spot the lone ranger as the one who is slightly awkwardly, scanning the room and slowly wandering the crowd with a hopeful smile on their face, looking for a group to approach.
Recently, I went to a party and I was lucky to meet this person at the front entrance of the lobby. She told me that she had met the host at their local gym, got invited to the party and decided to come despite not knowing anyone. I said I was pretty much in the same boat, so we instantly had something in common.
Later on throughout the party, we would circle back to each other, asking how the night was going and getting to know each other a little better. I ended up making a great connection with this woman and I’m going to see her art studio this week.
The other lone rangers are the best to meet at parties because they’re often a little nervous, just like you, and are eagerly looking to meet and mingle with new people.
3. Offer to Help the Host
Sometimes, the host becomes overwhelmed and needs a break or some much appreciated help.
If there are food trays with appetizers, offer to pass some around to guests. People love to mingle over food (like these fun avocado chips that can get people talking and munching), and it’s a great way to introduce yourself to everyone. If you have any bartending experience or know how to make a tasty drink, offer to make somebody something at the bar and show-off your skills.
Similarly, to the earlier mentioned ‘party game‘ connections that are formed during play, it helps to have a clearly defined role at a party and handing out food and drinks is a great way to approach new people.
4. Bring a Party Friend
This is a tried and true tactic — bring your BFF.
As a result, you will instantly feel more relaxed having your partner in crime by your side, and you can have fun making new friends together.
You don’t have to stay joined at the hip either, but knowing they’re there with you will help ease your nerves a bit. I’ve had situations at parties where my friend has made a great wing woman, and other times where they’ve ran to my rescue to help me out of some unfavorable conversations and situations. It’s a win-win.
5. Show Genuine Interest in the People You Meet at Parties
In my opinion, this should be common sense but sometimes we forget how to socialize when we’re nervous. Basically, just try to find it in yourself to have genuine curiosity for other people’s lives.
Ask lots of questions, show interest in their hobbies or goals, comment on their outfit, compliment something about their appearance, remember their name! (Something I need to get better at doing).
It can start with small talk and lead into something bigger. The last party I went to I met a guy and we started off with the usual topics — where are you from, what do you do etc., and he mentioned that he had just gotten back from Maui. I happened to be travelling there in a couple weeks and I asked him about his adventures (checking off the 5th point in the 5 ways to socialize checklist). We ended up having a great conversation about his experiences and the potential activities I could do during my trip.
Genuinely getting to know someone can be a mutual benefit, and it makes both parties feel good in the end.
There’s always a deeper connection to make
Thus, I myself thrive off of these deep connections in life. Often times they can lead to meaningful new friendships and opportunities. They add spice to our lives. We are all connected in some way and we are all social creatures by nature. Maybe you’re more of a Netflix Documentary/ Prime Video and sweatpants kinda guy or gal, and that’s okay too.
If you are trying to expand your circle and get out of your comfort zone a little bit, give these 5 ways to socialize a try and let us know how they helped you out!
